Ladies and Gentlemen, it is I, Yomu, review reviewer.
I’m back after many months of relaxation, due to a lack of demand in the review review market. Worry not, as I collect royalties on all of my published review reviews, so I am doing just fine.
Some testimonials from my last review review:
wow, a review of a review. that’s pretty brilliant – TPAB~
…I love it… – Yomu
I like this. you’re pretty encouraging and nice. – TPAB~
maybe too nice… – TPAB~
As always, please comment below if you’d like your words to be featured in the next review review.
In case you were wondering, Yomu 2 is doing well. He has been working on his own projects lately – long writeups and such. He’s been quite happy with the results of one particular publication of his that went out recently.
I am back because we have received a review review request, after all of these months.
The author of the review we shall be reviewing today is Matija from tfwanime.
The request came a little while back, when Yomu 2 put out a request for review review requests:
And the review I shall be reviewing, as selected by Yomu 2, is Matija’s review of Hanasaku Iroha.
Let’s begin the review review, where I review Matija’s review of Hanasaku Iroha. Remember not to confuse this with an ordinary review, as I will not be reviewing the anime reviewed in Matija’s review, but reviewing Matija’s review itself.
The review is titled Finding Your Place – Hanasaku Iroha Review. A fine title. What this title tells me is that the author wishes to focus on a particular message from the anime, while simultaneously reviewing the anime – Hanasaku Iroha. Simple and effective.
The review begins with the author’s message, but makes an excellent transition into the plot of the anime itself – that the main character wanted change, and ended up working as a maid at her grandmother’s inn. We can also see here that the author will be writing in the first-person, inserting their personal opinion into the review, which can be beneficial to the review.
Not very much is written for the story – just an observation, not necessarily a bad thing. What the story portion of this review does is lead me to believe that the premise for the anime is fairly straightforward – a girl moves from the city to a rural area to work at an inn as a maid.
The author takes this premise and ties it into their personal life experiences, which can be an effective way to write a compelling piece. I would err on the side of caution however, because what we have here is a case where the “story” portion of the review is more about the author’s personal experiences than the anime’s story. There is a fine balance to these things that needs to be achieved.
The characters section of the review is written in a way that assumes the reader has watched the anime beforehand, introducing names without explanation towards their identity. Whether this is an issue or not depends on the reader and whether they have seen the anime or not.
I also spot a grammatical error – the use of “tho” instead of “though”. I would urge the author to avoid slang words. The English language has deteriorated enough over the last several hundred years, we need to be vigilant in keeping it at least somewhat intact.
Other than this, we can takeaway that the author enjoyed the cast of the anime and was sad to have to have to part with them upon the anime’s conclusion.
Sound & Animation
This part of the review is quite short. The overall message I get from this is that the author didn’t have any issues with the sound, enjoyed the use of the OP song by the main character at times, and that the animation was excellent.
I would just like to remind the author that the technical aspects of an anime (particularly sound and animation) do not always need to be present in a review. The reason for this is that most anime out there have acceptable, good, or even great sound and animation. What this means is that many reviews will incorporate the sound and animation only to say that “they were good / great”.
My advice in regards to writing about the technical aspects, should one choose to do so, is to try to dig deeper into why they were as good (or bad) as they were. Try to use examples of scenes from within the anime to explain your reasoning. A scene where the voice acting impressed you, a song that brought out emotions, or a visually beautiful scene that took your breath away.. These are the types of examples that can help get your point across.
Using examples and calling your readers to remember parts of the anime, or entice them to want to see the anime, can really elevate this portion of the review from “it was good” to something much more engaging for the reader.
The conclusion begins by re-introducing the core message of the anime, followed by more personal experiences. The author then brings up some of the more emotional parts of the anime We then see some issues the author had with the anime. Finally, the conclusion ends on a positive note.
The conclusion was on the longer side, but I feel the reason for this is more structural than anything, and so I will bring that up shortly when I write about the review’s structure.
The single biggest issue with the formatting of this review is the spacing – there are simply too many spaces, creating a review that looks like it was written in a double-spaced format. What this does is make the review more difficult to read. Generally when we see spacing like this, it’s expected that a new idea will be introduced in a new line. When there is a one-line paragraph, followed by another one-line paragraph that does not introduce a new idea, it becomes difficult to follow the writing as a whole.
I suspect that part of the reason for this is due to differences between the WordPress editor and the author’s website, as the website’s theme displays text over a very long distance – definitely longer than the editor. So what may look like 3 or 4 lines in the post editor ends up being only 1 or 2 lines on the website.
I recommend using the preview function in order to ensure that the formatting doesn’t look like a long string of broken up paragraphs.
I would also recommend only using spacing when either moving onto a new idea or when a paragraph has become too long and needs to be broken up to become more readable. I spotted many spaces that were not necessary, as the sentences before and after a space were about the same idea.
One other trick that can be used is to start a new line without any spacing.
This allows the introduction of a semi-related idea, but on a new line so that it’s more noticeable.
The overall structure of the review is sound, and I have no issues with the choice of headings / sections. What I would like to suggest however is trying to stay more within the confines of the headings themselves. For example, writing about the story in the story section, characters in the characters section, et cetera. Naturally adding a personal touch is fine, but the writing really should pertain to the heading topic.
I think that this review could have been improved by adding another section to the review for personal thoughts, or emotional moments.. somewhere that the author could relate their personal story to the anime in one centralized location. Ideally closer to the end of the review, such as before the conclusion. This would allow readers to learn about the anime first, before reading the author’s story and how it relates to the anime.
Another section could have been introduced for issues with the anime, which would have allowed the author to expand upon what they didn’t like about it.
This is the last point I wanted to briefly mention. The size and placement of the images act as a bit of a detriment to the structure of the review. Unless the author is explicitly trying to show off a moment from the anime, or asks the viewer to take a look at an image, the image really is only there to act as a break from the text and accent the review by providing some visuals. If the image is too large, it does it’s job too well and can actually disrupt the flow of the review.
That said, I did enjoy the images themselves and their quality. They still add to the review – they could just be used a little more effectively.
Final Impressions & Rating
Matija’s review of Hanasaku Iroha shows potential. Aside from the sound & animation portion which I feel could have been expanded upon, the content of the review was more than enough to create a good review. I feel that most of the issues in the review were related to the formatting and structure of the review, which made the review difficult to read and scattered at times. With proper paragraph formatting and improved structure, moving some ideas to more fitting sections, the review most definitely has the potential to be a great review.
I will now provide my assessment of the review, as well as a rating.
Areas of Concern:
- Sounds & Animation section could have been more engaging.
- Too many lines and too much spacing in the review, larger paragraphs would have been easier to read.
- Some portions of the review would have been better off in their own sections (personal relation to the anime, issues with the anime).
- Images were a bit too large.
Areas that show promise:
- The overall content of the review is sound.
- Despite their size, the images chosen were still very nice.
- The review has a great personal touch to it, with the author’s personal thoughts / stories.
- The review does a good job in conveying the anime’s core theme, from start to finish.
Matija’s review of Hanasaku Iroha gets a 7.3 / 10 rating from me.
My words for the author would be to spend a little more time minding the formatting and structure of your reviews, using the preview function in order to get an idea of how the review will look when published. Try to use spaces when moving onto new ideas or when you feel that a paragraph is becoming too long. You had a great personal touch to this review, and all of your ideas were there, they just needed a more streamlined format to really shine.
This concludes my review of Matija’s review of Hanasaku Iroha.
If any of you are interested in having one of your reviews reviewed, please let me know in the comments. Also, we’re always looking for testimonials to share on our review reviews, so consider leaving a comment for that as well!
Until next time,
Thanks for reading.